The other day I was having a major anxiety attack about the basement...I am so worried it won't be done before we bring the baby home. I have no idea why, I just have this vision of what I want to bring her home to, and it is NOT a bedroom shared with a computer or a house full of Cannon's toys EVERYWHERE! I picture her room decorated (which the computer is prohibiting me from doing) her clothes hanging neatly in her closet (which is currently crammed with stuff waiting to make the move down stairs) and most of all a mother who doesn't feel like she has a million things she needs to do after the arrival of a newborn. So I am telling Brandon this (after he just spent ALL day working in the basement) and he is looking at me like you are so ungrateful just get over it, and I tell him I think I am having baby/pregnancy anxiety. "NOPE" he says, "you are just having Rachel anxiety!" I feel so bad for my poor husband, here I am attributing it to my current state and he tells me I am like this all the time. SUCKS for him! I am sure glad he is in it for the long haul! So since I am having this pregnancy meltdown, which I am still going to attribute it to, I thought I would blog it so as to at least get it off my mind!
1. I decided to make the baby's bedding. My MIL is making her quilt, while the skirt, valance and bumper are up to me. Why I decided to do this I have NO IDEA! I am going to call it a moment of pure insanity!
2. I was so hoping we would be ready for sheet rock this month, no go! My slave laborers, which they truly are since they are working for Saturday lunch and that is it, actually have lives and decided to return to them for the next two weeks. (This is what kicked my anxiety into gear!) That means sheet rock is min of mid April and that leaves us with only 8 weeks or so until the big day!
3. Brandon has been training for a half marathon and has lost 15lbs! I am pretty sure he has some secret contraption that he hooks up to me at night when he gets home that just sucks the fat of him and finds a new home in me. Needless to say it is super depressing! This time a last year we were training for a 5k and were both doing great. I pretty much get ready everyday and consider that exercise!
4. I have found that on the days that I NEED a nap the MOST, Cannon is at his highest point ever! Like someone just gave him a JOLT or something making a nap nearly impossible!
5. Why is it that when you have your first baby you buy everything gender biased? As I start thinking of all the things a new baby needs, I realize everything we had for C is BLUE! I can already tell you my baby is not going to have a head full of hair, so blue is not going to help her.
6. Somewhere hidden in the abyss of the storage room, behind the drum sets, the food storage, the baby boy clothes, the holiday decor and random other items being stored, is a swing, a car seat, a baby chair, a bassinet, baby blankets, sheets and countless other baby items that are needing to make their way upstairs to be washed and readied for baby B. Where I am going to put them, I have no idea because Cannon is truly the master of this house and his stuff EVERYWHERE awaiting his new toy room! The first time around it is all new so there is little prep involved, this time I am kind of freaking out. Not to mention I would love to get the carpets cleaned but what's the point when sheet rock dust is flying around!
7. Now that I am not working it feels like I am busier than ever! I swear I start out a week thinking "oh good this week is going to be low key" and then BAM it is FULL! What am I going to do when I am lugging two kids around?!
8. Finally, my ENDLESS list of craft projects to do. Instead of my list getting smaller, I swear it increases each day. There is the always nagging scrapbook for C, a car seat cover, blankets, a bow holder, bows of course and SO MUCH MORE!
So really, what I need to do is just take a chill pill and RELAX because once the baby is here it is going to be a whole new anxiety game! Besides, she will come when she comes, basement or no basement, blue clothes or pink, whether my "TO DO LIST" is complete or not, and she will come perfect, happy and grateful for a warm home and a family who is anxiously awaiting her arrival! Now if only her mother could realize the extent of her blessings and stop worrying!
8 comments:
I feel Brandon's pain.....really......no no, really.
Oh Rach you are amazing! I was such a stress case for my little man and I am sure Nate wanted to trade me in. I can't wait to see the homemade crib bedding!!!
I always find that I am more stressed when I am pregnant and then I chill a bunch after I have the baby. I think it is because I know that I won't get anything done for the first few months after having a baby. Sometimes I get my to do lists done, sometimes I don't.
Just pick the things that matter the most and focus on them. I bought some things that I could have made, but it saved me the stress and anxiety. I also had to learn to lower my expectations. Some days all I expect are for the toys to be i the toy room and the other kid stuff in their respective rooms...then I don't venture near those areas if I don't have to. The less I look at it, the less I worry about it.
My house can be a mess and I can still be a good mom. My kids are fed, clothed, loved and disciplined. And some days, that's all I can do. Just find a balance that works for you.
ITS OVERWHELMING!! most of this is just part of being a mom and a wife! but trust me, you will LOVE having 2 kids! its sooo scary at first but you will love it when that little dolly girl of yours turns about 4-6 months. Your boy will love love love having someone to talk to and watch him play! he'll think its the coolest thing ever! And then as soon as she starts crawling, they will play with each other :) its such a great thing for mamma!! I Mean, Mccoy seriously bugs Lavi a lot but over all, if I just let them play, they do well...so your two kids will do the same!!
Try and calm down and kick your feet up! You are doing just fine and I hope things go smoothly for you!
Rachel,
Thanks for your comment, and don't worry, I am so thankful for the advice, IT WORKED, and that, to me, is all that matters! :)
I'm sorry your having such a rough time right now, it gets better, and having two kids is SO fun! ITs so fun to watch them play with each other.
When your feeling up to going to lunch, I would love to! :)
so I don't know what my excuse is...when we moved in, I just started crying because the house needs so much work. It looks way better but still a long way. I think things will work out on the basement :) They always do...and according to your ticker, you have 98 days until she comes!
Just call Brandon a "Super Douche" and call it a day!!! Everything will be great!!! I miss your tantrums everyday!!! Just tell Brandon to drive you my way!!! I will take them....
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